I’ve read somewhere that people with BPD are often very creative. I find that fascinating and I think a lot of people would tell you I’m a creative person – I write flash fiction (see my other blog: https://nikkicasartelli.wordpress.com/), I act, I sing…but I feel like I can only really do these things at my…healthy adult times. So, what I mean is when I’m functioning as normally as possible. I often find I can pour past hurts and fear into my fiction writing but if I do it when I’m in a sad, depressive state it makes me worse. If I’m super sad I can’t do a lot more than just stare at the wall. I can’t do it while I’m disassociating and if I’m feeling insecure, noooo way. The best I can do is write to you guys and even them I’m trembling that everyone who reads this will hate me and think by writing my feelings I’m doing the wrong thing and airing dirty laundry.
Acting for me is a wonderful way of escaping my own head for a few hours. I’m horribly self-conscious and shy about it. I have a complete inferiority complex but there is relief to be found in pretending to be someone else. Even someone as unfortunate as my current character Honey from Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
So what is creativity and why is it so often found in the mentally ill? Is it a form of mania? Do inspired people always have troubled backgrounds? Was Vincent Van Gogh a BPD before his time? Do any of you guys find doing something creative can help bring you out of a funk (sorry to be flippant) or can you only do it when you’re feeling more yourself?