Battling Anxiety

So today I’m looking for advice. For a few weeks now I’ve been struggling with really bad anxiety, which is feeding into insecurity and it’s making me dread pretty much everything. I’m not entirely sure where it’s come from or what it pertains to but everything I tackle still leaves me with an increased heartbeat, nightmares, a sense of failure, a manic need to make people like me, tiredness and a sense of forthcoming doom. It’s exhausting and I find I’m annoying myself with my whining, which then feeds into the negativity. But…how does one stop it from affecting life?

Obviously I’ve been given suggestions before – breathing exercises (but focusing on my breathing makes me panic that I’m not breathing properly), mindfulness, doing dccd1e780ca17d976d4c78e31ff19c9csomething soothing for myself (fine short-term but as soon as I stop it comes back), taking on anxiety-ridden situations head on (again, I can just about cope with it but it’s still there next time). So, what do you guys do? I’ve also tried yoga, going for walks, listening to music and talking about how I feel. Anything else to suggest?

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4 thoughts on “Battling Anxiety

  1. Hello, I’m really sorry to hear you’re struggling with this, it happens to me sometimes too and to a lot of people I think, so you’re not alone. I don’t know if direct advice is useful but things that have helped me for starters was to try to be kind to myself; so don’t give yourself a hard time about feeling the way you do. Also remember it’s just a feeling; feelings are transient, they will change just like the weather or seasons change.

    Exercise and eating well is great, swimming’s a good one too I think. Talking about it with family and friends was really helpful.

    It sounds cheesey but sometimes it helps me to go back to basics a bit and remember all the things that I like or that I’m lucky for in life; my health, my friends and family, drinking tea, watching the bake off whatever. So remembering all of those things and writing them down, so I have a crib sheet for when I’m feeling rubbish is a help, particularly when I’m worrying about bigger things in my life, ticking boxes etc. Just remembering what’s important to you.

    But maybe what’s helped me the most was that I made a sort of perspectives page so I could work through things I was irrationally worrying about. I wrote down my fears as a premise and then I rationally worked through them on paper and figured out why I didn’t need to worry about them so much.

    Remembering the rational facts about my life was really helpful. I often feel or have felt like I was a failure but it’s simply not true and I’ve no doubt it’s the same for you. So for me I had to remind myself of why I’m not a failure and physically write it down to knock some sense back into myself! Also remember that some of our society’s ideas of “success” are pretty silly and not to be adhered too, it’s up to you to define what “success” means for you personally. Often I worry about attaining goals that other people set or project onto me when if I really think about it, I actually don’t care too much about those things!

    Another thing that really helped me was remembering not to lose my sense of humour which is totally easier said than done when you are in tears at the checkout aisle in tescos…but it’ll be there even in dark times. And asking myself “what’s the worst thing that can happen” when I was dreading things. Because often the worst thing that can happen is really not that bad at all, so just taking the weight out of situations.

    I hope that helps and that you feel better, sending love and cheer, Sharon

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  2. I agree with Sharon and her perspectives pages. I find yoga and walking and all of those techniques do work, but only as distractions, or treating the symptoms. The only thing that works for me is tackling the cause, by taking a breath and writing everything down. Whether it is writing down all my stresses or issues and breaking them down into tiny bits and then working out little solutions for them, or writing lists of things to be grateful for, things that make me happy or sad or stressed or inspired.
    I give myself loads of time, forget everything else and just focus on getting it all on the page, absolutely everything that is in my head. I often end up drifting off and staring into space and it takes quite a while to get it all out until I finally feel a bit of weight lifted and my back straightening. But I can’t stop until everything is on the page and I can walk away feeling that I don’t need to worry anymore because all the worries are there, clear and organised on the page along with their solutions. I’ll have to keep coming back to it every now and then, to make sure everything is there or to add to it etc, but I guess ultimately it feels like packing up my worries and getting them out of my head. The problems are still there, but they are now manageable, even if they won’t be solved for years.
    The lists become useless fairly quickly and I’m constantly writing new ones, but its not so much about the actual list, its just about organising my thoughts, finding solutions and facing my problems head on. Then it is almost as if I can let them go because I know I can deal with them, so I don’t need to worry.

    Very difficult to explain and I know it won’t work for everyone, but that’s what keeps me sane (almost!). 🙂 xxx

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    1. Thanks ladies! I guess my main worry is that I’ve committed to things that I would normally be fine with but am really struggling with right now and it’s whether it’s worth marching on regardless or whether I need to admit that I need more me time to try and sort myself out. But then I’m breaking promises and letting people down makes me anxious too! Argh!

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  3. I struggle with the same thing. But sometimes breaking a promise or letting someone down now, will result in letting fewer people down in the future. And in general people are very understanding if you’re honest with them (or sometimes not necessarily honest, but simply showing you need a little help makes them want to help). Being selfish feels wrong, but sometimes it is better for everyone.

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