What a difference a week makes…
So, thanks to everyone who showed so much support for my blog – it’s nice to hear that it’s helpful for people. So I will carry on, but without putting pressure on myself to write.
But wow, guys! Today I had an amazing group therapy experience. After denouncing it last week, it’s been totally helpful to me this week and I feel so lucky to have had it.
I’ve been struggling really badly with a lot of things of late – nothing I really want to go into, but let’s say they’ve left me feeling very tired, sad, guilty, down on myself, confused and having to put on a happy face to the world. So when I got to group this morning, I broke down in tears and let out everything.
The people in my group and the therapists were amazing. I felt awkward
and shy having the entire session focus on me and I felt uncomfortable and unconvinced by some of the nice things people had to say about me. But I told the truth and these people didn’t judge. They listened and they hugged me, they comforted and said they liked me and held my hand. Despite my snivelling, despite my flaws and despite not showing them my happy face. It was such an eye opener for me! I felt so relieved and light and so touched. I felt connected and that they were on my team. Together, we all battled my punitive parent and made me see that I have a refuge when things get tough.
I think I’ve cracked, the barrier of cynicism I’ve been carrying with me to these sessions over the last year has been lowered. I think it’s finally clicked what this group therapy lark is meant to be about!