I just wanted to share an update. Since I wrote my last post about my therapist not being there for me, I’ve had a lot of feedback and encouragement about letting her know how she’s making me feel.
The next week she cancelled on me twice and so, with you guys’ help in mind, I spoke to another therapist there about what was happening and how I was reacting. She strongly persuaded me to tell my therapist how I felt but said there was no pressure if it was too difficult. So when we did finally meet, I did tell her how rejected and uncared for I felt (OK, maybe I slightly sugar coated it but I think I got my point across). She apologised and explained what had happened from her point of view – and I totally got where she was coming from but I guess I still wish things had been different.
The whole thing was horrendous – I was outside of my comfort zone and wanted to weep constantly for upsetting someone by putting myself first. She also kept calling herself ‘rubbish’ and ‘a shit bag’ so I felt horribly guilty. Sometimes I think she and I might be too similar for this relationship ever to have worked! We could have been friends perhaps, but not
BUT it was totally worth it because I have now had my therapy extended! I’m going to have sessions with someone else in the new year to look into the issues and traits that I struggle with most that I feel haven’t been tackled thus far. So hurrah! And thank you so much – I wouldn’t have had the courage to say anything without your help!